School can be such a downer…

I don’t know why, but school has just brought me down. Actually, I do know why. It’s just that I say I don’t because it’s a defense mechanism.

I got scores back for this really big test thing, more like pretest, and I saw that only one skill out of about ten were better than average. Not to mention, my grades are already slipping and I feel like I have no power over it. I feel that I’m too stupid for anything that those classes teach me.

Not to mention, the person who helps me plan out my school schedules suggested that I retake an advanced placement course during summer holiday. I feel like I’ve also been moved to a lower class for my third year of German, I like the classes and the subjects, it’s just I feel so hopeless all the time. I just see all of those people who don’t have to do much and they can get by so much better than me.

I’ve also given up on any hopes of going to a college or university… that’s how hopeless I feel.

Now instead of feeling sad or angry though, I literally feel nothing. I can only feel fatigue in school and it’s not because of sleep. I could sleep 12 hours on a decent bed and no nightmares or whatever and still feel tired.

Eh, forget it. Sorry for dumping my self-pity into this thing. It’s a blog so I figured- whatever. At least stinky German boy didn’t really smell today.