Digital Drawing Makes Me Want to Cry

Did I ever mention that I’m so jealous of digital artists? I can do traditional art well, from other people’s word, but I can’t do anything digital to save my life. And no, I don’t count those banners and stuff I edit and make as my own.

I’ve been considering since my 18th birthday is coming up whether I should try convincing my mom ( I’m too terrified of people to hold a job right now, such a nervous wreck ) to get me the cheapest Alienware gaming laptop, which is 900 USD approximately without any add ons to it, or if we should go looking around for something to digitally draw better.

I am going to become my school’s newspaper artist/comic artist, so this would be helpful and would eventually lead for me to develop more as an artist. With digital art, I could finally play around with colors more! *-* Not to mention, I could do small commiSsions for people for reasonable prices and stuff of that sort and earn a little extra cash. Beneficial in the long run…

But then I LOVE gaming. Sadly to say, ever since I was a small child, I couldn’t put down a controller. Playing video games oddly enough actually seemed to help me develop as an artist because I was able to easily draw those game characters I would love to play as since I could see all sides on them, most of the time in three dimensional space. Aside from that, I love going into a world where I can be anything and do anything… well not anything, you get the point.

This has turned into a conflict of two things that I love dearly. Gaming and drawing. Hard part is, if I neglect either one, and I know I can physically live without them, I can’t mentally handle not being able to play a game that is either relaxing and calm or something that stimulates senses ( hearing and eyesight mainly ) and my attention. Then, there’s the whole