We’ve all felt like that one parent in our childhood(s) who’ve always had that smart comment on one of our interests because it’s very different from what they’re accustomed to and seem to always find something they could or can criticize about us. I’ve grown up with a father who seemed to find every way he could criticize my hobbies, my interests and sometimes even my own knowledge of something.
But what would I know, I’m just a girl who’s going to be a legal adult in about 2 months. I shouldn’t be talking because I’ve never been in the “real” world.
This post is a criticism on my dad and his parenting through my point of view, therefor it might be in the view of a biased teenage/young adult girl. You can take or leave the things I say.
Drinking Issues Much?
My dad has a somewhat serious drinking problem. It’s normal to me because my whole life he’s been drinking, but for those trying to get an idea on the kind of alcoholic he is, he gets one of those Budweiser cases with like 24 cans in them and would drink the whole case to himself. I don’t really know if his drinking has gotten worse or better, but I will say that his drinking is kind of wavy. One month he could drink like 3 cans ( still a lot to some people ) every other day before bed or maybe tries to drink a whole case by himself in two to one day(s).
The “Let Me Ask You a Question” Drunk Talks
Well when he drinks, he gets into this ignorant jerk ego sort of thing and doesn’t seem to give a flying kitten ( I could use more colorful language but no :> ) about anyone other than himself. He always start off one of his insulting and verbally downgrading conversations with the phrase “let me ask you a question.” I’ve been dealing with this guy for 17 and now almost 18 years and when he starts to say “let me ask you a question” you want to rip your hair out and gauge out your eyes.
Telling You To Do Chores
Before you say anything about me being lazy or whatever, I don’t want to listen to my dad about doing chores when he’s drunk is because of this, he will hover over you and basically micromanage you and try to tell you that you’re wrong. I know, he could be trying to correct something legitimately, but when it’s almost every time you do the same chore and you actually do it the “right” way, he still seems to find a way to tell you that you’re wrong.
Not only that, he doesn’t care what you are doing when he asks you to do a chore. You could be studying for that ACP exam or filling out something for you dual credit class or simply homework and he’ll tell you to do something. Not only that, he expects you to be doing the chore within seconds of him asking. Oh and the whole thing where you’re not bowing down to him and acting like he’s an almighty dictator, he starts insulting the living day lights out of you to the point where you literally feel like a worthless piece of dog crap. Like really, maybe if you’d ask nicely, I would listen to you dad.
I’m Almost Home 24/7, But I’d Much Rather You Do The Housework While I Drink :>
This part about my dad has always made me mad to the point where I’ve almost said it to his face. My dad drinks his beer, at least one 24 can case every week ( or so it seems ) yet he doesn’t do any of the work around the house and expects everyone else to do it, while he sits in his chair, watching TV and drinking. Like the average American teen, I go to school about 8 hours a day, sometimes after a really stressful day, with low energy due to lack of good sleep and food consumption. I either want to sleep or do nothing when I get home, just like pretty much every other person with busy ( or even busier schedules ) with school or work.
Yet, he wants me and my sister to work while he’s home almost literally ALL DAY. What does he do? Think “oh these dishes need to be washed, I’m too lazy/drunk to do it myself. I’ll get my daughter(s) to do them.” Out of the four human beings in my household, he has the most free time out of everyone… I think it would be more understandable through my perspective.
Oh You Like That [ insert subject ] ? Let Me Tear It Down For You
I’ve tried to build some connections with my dad through some of my own interests, mostly video games, but it’s really hard when he seems to tear apart everything you like. From the music you like, to the things you draw, and the things you watch on a stupid TV. It seems he will find every excuse to tear you apart when he’s drunk. He’s like a bully in a way, which after living so long with someone like that, I wouldn’t blame my younger self for just shutting up and going down a rabbit hole.
The Sober Father
He’s not that bad when he’s not drinking or drunk, but because of his actions when he’s drunk or drinking, my thoughts on him have carried over to his sober self. He’s got his own business going and I admit he’s achieved some great things like an award and decent money when he gets a job done. Also my dad can be very kind when he’s sober.
Again, because of his ignorant drunk ego, I’ve started ( and I will admit this ) insult and disrespect him. Before anyone decides to roast me about respecting your parents and all that, I’ve only started to become like this because of how hostile he is when he’s drunk. Since he’s almost always hostile when he’s drinking, I’ve decided to do him a favor by mirroring how he treats me. I’ve also grown into a timid, yet violent person because of how he’s always insulted me over the course of my life.
Here’s an article on verbal abuse if anyone is interested in the subject ( sorry it’s from 2006 😛 ): https://www.fsu.edu/news/2006/05/22/invisible.scars/